The differance a year makes.

(I have said before that I am a terrible blogger, and that is still true. I meant to write this yesterday)

On this day one year ago (August 1st) I found out that I was going to be a mommy. WOW.  at the time I had no idea what that meant exactly. I was overwhelmed with a swirl of feelings that went something like ...no way...omg...wow. no way. That test was cheap. really? a baby...omg. After the initial shock wore off  my heart was filled with a love that only another mother could possibly understand. I spent the next 8 months scared to death that something terrible would happen and that my new found love would be taken from me. Someone said to me once, "you think you worry now, wait until the baby is here, you will have to spend the rest of your life with your heart outside your body." and they were RIGHT.  Now that Brinley is here, she is my heart. She is my whole life and I love her in a way that I never knew I was capable of. 

With that being said, If some one had asked me 50 weeks ago, "when are you going to have kids" I would have probably said "maybe never" . My oh my, how things have changed. In my own humble opinion, mom looks pretty good on me. I have no desireto go out to the bars....I don't want to be with out her, and 50 weeks ago I was living it up, going out every weekend with no purpose at all. I am so happy that I got that little surprise, she is the sunshine of my life...and my favorite thing about me, is her.

Now she is 4 months old!! And growing and changing every day. in the past few weeks she has started rolling from her back to her belly. She tries so hard to sit up, its so cute to watch. She has found her voice and all she does is squeal and happily scream, I think she loves the sound of her voice.
I have started giving her rice cereal mixed with baby juice, and she loves it! She screams when I don't get the next bite in her mouth quick enough...so cute!

At her 4 month appointment she was 24 and 3/4 inches long (75th percentile) 15 lbs 1 oz (90th percentile) She still loves her bath time and has recently started kicking and splashing like a crazy baby. Brandon recently put her jumper-roo together and she has the best time in that thing.

She had her 1st trip to the lake July 22nd. She slept the whole way there and the whole way back. Had a great time on the boat. We had gone to a wake board competition and when we were in the water whenever a wave would come she would smile and laugh...I think she is going to love spending her summers at the lake.

 

She is a happy, well adjusted baby who is learning something new all the time. Even though she is growing up so quickly, and everyday getting bigger, she is still such a little baby and loves to snuggle and be held when she gets sleepy. Every night when I rock her to sleep I know how blessed I am to have such a perfectly wonderful little girl. She has stolen my heart....and her daddy's too.

Lucky me

I sometimes often sit back and think about how incredibly lucky I am. On a night like tonight, I have my husband sleeping next to me (which doesnt happen often because of his 2nd shift job and his night owl habbits). I am wathching Brinley on the monitor sleeping soundly in her bed. How did I get so lucky? My life is far from perfect, but I am still able to find emence happiness in my family, and I am so content.

I love being a mom more than I ever imagined that I would. Its not always a walk in the park, but I love it. I love watching Brinley grow and change. Sometimes I feel like there is this indescribable love just bubbling inside of me and my heart may just burst because it is so full. And when one person brings that much fulfillment to your life its hard not to wonder...how DID I get so lucky?

Brandon and I both took some extra days off work after 4th of July to have a 5 day break from work. I am SO glad that I did. Brinley started laughing! It started with just little giggles here and there. It has now evolved into a full out laugh, and it is the sweetest sound I have ever heard. It makes me so happy to hear her being happy.

She prefers to be in the sitting position more now. She loves her bumbo seat and likes to sit while someone supports her back...she like to see whats going on. She has also become obsessed with the TV (not that I am supper excited about that). Today Brandon and I decided to have a date day and while were both getting ready we turned Sesame St on ( don't judge me) and we could hear her in the other room cooing and laughing at Elmo.

She brings such a fullness to my life. She makes mornings my favorite part of the day, She has changed my whole life. Maybe I'm not lucky, maybe I'm blessed. Whatever you call it I am thankful, Very thankful.

Firsts

We had two big "firsts" happen this weekend. On Saturday morning we were all laying in bed and Brandon kept calling Brinley nerd (its his pet name for her...why he picked that, I don't know) but she loved it and we got a giggle out of her. It was the sweetest, cutest thing ever!

On Sunday my little angel face went swimming for the 1st time! She has always LOVED bath time and likes to kick and splash in the tub. The temperature outside has been in the 100's for the last few days here, so the pool water was warm. She is so cute in her little bathing suit too!

The day my life changed.

Over the weekend I realized that I didnt have Brinley's birthstory written anywhere where I could easliy go back to read it again and in efforts to not forget, here we go....

March 20, 2012.

I had been to the Dr the day prior and we were ready to schedule the induction. We had done a amnio the week prior to make sure that Brinley's lungs were developed enough to be delivered early. I had gestation diabetis and high blood pressure and a few issues with a rapid heart rate throughout my pregnancy so when we saw Dr. Scobie on the 19th he said that tomorrow (the 20th) we would have a baby!

I know that it isnt the typical "OMG its time" moment, but it was so surreal...We were going to have a baby...TOMORROW!

** I was going to type out the whole birthstory again, but I found this post that I made on thebump.com that I wrote 2 weeks after her birth and I thought it would be a little more accurate**

Brinley is here!!...well she has been here for over 2 weeks now, her due date was acctually yesterday, but I can't imagaine the last 2 weeks with out her little angel face. Anyways, I havent had much time to be online latley, but I still wanted to share her birth story.

On March 20th I went into the hospital for a scheduled induction at 38 weeks (due to high blood pressure, GD, Bad swelling). We arrived at 7:30 am and by 8 am I was on a pitocin drip. When I got there I was already 2 cm dilated, at Noon they came to check and I had only progressed to 3 cm. They decided to break my water, which was painful. at 1 pm I had progressed to 4 cm and was having contractions every 2 minutes or so it was time for the epidural, that also hurt, and was kind of scary since they go through this big long list of terrible/bad things that could happen to you - including anything from a head ache to being paralized. Once I got the epi everything was much better, alothough it is very strange not being able to feel the entire lower 1/2 of your body.

at 8:30 pm I had only progressed to 6 cm and my Dr thought a C-scection might be the best option for us. He mentioned something about the "cord not floating" and her head haddnt dropped any more. He left the decision entirly up to my husband and I, but also said that since I have only dilated 4 cm since being on the pitocin that I could be in labor for 20 more hours or longer. At that point my DH and I both decided that it was in mine and our baby's best intrest to go ahead with the C-Section.
I'll admit that I was so scared at first and it all kind of turned into a blur. They prepped me for surgery and wheeled me into the operating room. They didnt let Brandon come in until right before they were ready to begin, and within 5 minutes our daughter was here!! She was born on March 20th at 9:45 PM. 20 inches long and weighed 8 lbs 2 oz (less then a week prior I had a growth US and they had estimated her to be 6 lbs 4 oz- just more proof how wrong those things are)

I just remeber hearing her little cry for the first time- It was the most amazing sound in the entire world. The dr held her little gray blood covered body over the curtain so we could see her and it was the most overwhelming feeling rush of love that I have ever felt. The nurses took her over to be weighed and cleaned up some and then Brandon brought her over for me to see...Amazing is the only word I can think of to describe those moments. I didnt get to hold her until we got to the recovery room where we stayed for about an hour, but I got to do skin to skin contact and she nursed right away. Like I said AMAZING- Love at first sight really does exisit.

The first 2 days are really rough recovering, but I'm doing fine now. Brinley is just perfect which makes everything worth it.

Where has the time gone?

Its already been 3 months since we welcomed Brinley into our lives. I honestly can not believe that its been that long. I've said since I was pregnant that I would start a blog to try and document some of my favorite things about being a mom and the cute things that Brinley does, and here I am 3 month after she was born, just getting around to it. I'm going to be very honest. I'm a terrible blogger. I am the queen of putting things off, but I am going to TRY very hard to write about all the things I never want to forget.

Brinley turned 3 months yesterday 6/20/12. She is already bearing weight on her legs and loves to sit up (with help from someone, or her bumbo seat) She smiles all the time and coos...no laughs just yet, but I am not so patiently waiting. She is now sleeping through the night (9pm-5am) and usually goes right back to sleep after she eats at 5. 

3 weeks

3 months 

Its crazy how quickly my life has changed. It was a good change, but now its almost as if she has always been here. She has brought so much joy into my life, and my heart overflows with love for her. It saddens me that time is flying by so quickly. I want to remember every precious moment of her babyhood, but I am still so excited to see her grow and change. Everyday brings something new.